I have a dental appointment, and I’m scared. What do I do before it?

Your guide before a dental appointment

Fear grows from what you don’t know: what’s coming and when. This guide walks you through each step before you reach it, because for many people, a step you know about gets smaller.

And if you haven’t decided to book at all yet, read When the visit is hard first: what really happens at a first visit, and what is in your hands at every moment. This page is the step after that. And if the one who is scared is your child, there is a guide just for them: My child is scared of the dentist. How do I prepare them?

The day before

The day before an appointment is usually when the fear grows. Make it a day for preparing, not a day for dwelling on it.

1. 1

   Write down your questionsOn paper or on your phone. Anxiety makes you forget, and a question that’s written down doesn’t get lost. And every question is a normal one: “Will it hurt?”, “How long will it take?”, “What happens if I wait?”, “What decides the cost before we start?” (What decides the cost of your treatment).

2. 2

   Write down what frightens you, in one sentenceThe needle? The sound? Embarrassment about the state of your teeth? A hard time years ago? One sentence saves you explaining it while you’re tense. And if it’s hard to say out loud, just hand them the page.

3. 3

   Sleep wellTiredness makes every feeling bigger, fear included. Get to bed on time if you can. And if sleep doesn’t come, that’s fine: don’t let it become one more thing to worry about.

4. 4

   Eat something light beforehandDon’t come hungry, and don’t come full. A light meal steadies you, and after some treatments your mouth stays numb for a few hours, so eating isn’t comfortable. If the clinic has given you different instructions for your appointment, follow those.

5. 5

   Don’t add extra caffeineCoffee, tea or energy drinks beyond your usual amount speed up your heart and make your hands shake, and your body reads that as fear. Stick to what you normally have, don’t add to it, and drink water.

6. 6

   Gather what you need to bringThis page, a list of your medicines or photos of their boxes on your phone, any old x-rays or dental reports you have, and your headphones if they help.

This card is for pen and paper only; the website doesn’t ask you to type any of it in.

On the day

1. 1

   Arrive a little earlySo you don’t arrive rushed and out of breath. If you’re not sure of the way or where to park, call or message us on WhatsApp before you set off: Where the clinic is, and how to get there.

2. 2

   Bring someone, if it helpsA friend, a brother or sister, a parent, a partner. Someone to sit next to you while you wait, and take you home afterwards. If you’d like them in the room with you, say so from the start, and we’ll see whether that’s possible.

3. 3

   Say you’re nervous in your first sentenceTo reception, before anything else: “I’m a bit nervous about the dentist.” It’s an ordinary sentence here, and it isn’t held against you: it’s so they take their time with you and tell you what will happen.

4. 4

   Breathe while you waitIn through your nose, then out for longer than you breathed in, a few times in a row. A long out-breath slows your heart a little, and it’s something in your hands before anything starts.

5. 5

   Take out the pageWhen you sit down with the dentist, show it to them or read from it. That’s a perfectly normal thing to do, and it saves you trying to remember while you’re tense.

In the chair

This is the moment that frightens people most. And even here, more is in your hands than you’d expect.

1. 1

   Agree on a “stop” signal before anything startsRaising your hand, for example. At most steps, the signal stops the work: you take a breath, and you decide whether to carry on. And honestly: there are a few steps that cannot be interrupted halfway, because stopping them is harder than finishing them. You know which those are before you start.

2. 2

   Ask for each step to be explained before it happensWhat’s coming, what you’ll feel, and roughly how long it takes. Before, not after. And if you’d rather not hear the details, say that too. Both are allowed.

3. 3

   Headphones and music, if they helpListen to whatever settles you, and keep the volume low enough to hear the dentist when they speak to you. And tell them before you put them on.

4. 4

   Breathe through your nose, and ask for pausesYour mouth is busy; your nose is not. If you start to gag or feel short of breath, use the signal, and ask for the chair to be raised a little or for a moment to rinse.

5. 5

   If it hurts, don’t stay quietWith local anaesthetic you still feel pressure and movement, and that is normal. But if you feel pain, use the signal: it stops, and the anaesthetic is topped up if needed. There is no promise here that you will feel nothing. What we can say: you will not carry on in pain and in silence.

And there are options that can make each step smaller still, laughing gas among them: a small mask over your nose, and you stay awake and talking. But it is an option the dentist decides on at the examination, depending on your case and your health, not something you ask for over the phone. The detail: The options that help.

Afterwards

It’s done, and that in itself counts. Here is what’s normal to feel, and what to do with the rest of the day.

What’s normal to feel

• Tiredness or a slight shakiness after you leave, which usually passes after a while. If it doesn’t, or if it comes with strong dizziness, sweating, shortness of breath or a racing heart that won’t settle, call the clinic straight away. If you are struggling to breathe, your face, lips or throat swell, or you have chest pain, call an ambulance on 911.
• Numbness for a few hours if you had local anaesthetic. Be careful not to bite your cheek or lip while it’s numb, and hold off on eating or hot drinks until the feeling comes back.
• Mild discomfort where the work was done after some treatments, easing day by day. If you need a painkiller, a suitable one is chosen by the pharmacist or the doctor. And what’s normal after each treatment, and what needs a call: After treatment: what’s normal, and what needs a call.

Reward yourself

• Something small you enjoy, the same day: a meal you love once the numbness has worn off, as long as it fits what the dentist told you after your treatment, a walk, an hour to yourself. You did something that was hard for you.
• Write two lines on the same page: what actually happened, and what was easier than you expected. Nervous patients tend to remember a visit later as harder than it was, and a line written the same day stays truer than memory.
• Keep the page for next time, and add what helped and what didn’t. Your next visit starts from there, not from scratch.

Questions people ask